Incredible pregnancy up until 30 weeks when things started to pop up. I was told I needed to start clexane to avoid blood clots as I have a family history and was also producing so much extra blood because I was carrying twins. So it took about a week before I got my head around the fact that I would inject myself daily (I have a needle phobia). It became my morning routine, and I thought that would be the worst part of the pregnancy as I had felt incredible the whole time. I was very wrong. The following week (31 weeks), I got cholestasis of pregnancy, so I spent weeks itching my palms and feet. It soon escalated to my whole body. I was itchy all day and night. My bile acid levels were rising each week, and then I was booked in for a liver scan because the levels were rising, and although it ended up being ok, it still felt full on. The doctors were preparing me for early delivery and booked a c-section for me for 36 weeks. I was happy about that because I could feel my body was ready, and I was slowly losing it - I had not slept since 33 weeks. I was an emotional mess and was ready for the babies to come out, but I knew I had to keep them in a little longer for their lungs to develop. I also had to get up each day and entertain my 3-year-old. 

But when I went for my 34-week scan, I ended up staying. One twin was measuring slightly smaller, so they did routine observations and found my blood pressure was 180/190. I noticed 8 nurses & doctors running into the room. I remember having needles and drips poked into my body everywhere while the midwife held my hand and told me to be calm and that everything was fine. Sunshine Coast Uni Hospital was incredible (I can't thank them enough). Then another doctor walked over and sat down next to me (at this stage, my whole body was shaking, and I couldn't control it. My vision suddenly was blurry because I knew something was wrong. I could feel all the anxiety from the last few weeks build up, and I was starting to panic. The doctor told me I had preeclampsia, which had only come on over the last day or so, and it's very common when carrying twins. I had no other symptoms other than extremely high blood pressure and one slightly smaller baby. After 2 days of blood pressure at 180 and 10 MET calls later, they decided an emergency c-section at 34 + 4 days was necessary. 

They were able to give me the 2 doses of steroids before they were born, which relieved me as I knew they needed it. Once the twins were delivered, I was so relieved to find out they were much bigger than we were all expecting, and they were healthy. Raven storm was 2424g, and Lakey Malika was 2070g. Raven had to go onto CPAP for a few hours, and they were perfectly fine! 

But I was still extremely sick. I had a 2-second cuddle then I was rushed to a room with 10 doctors around me. They decided I needed to have a magnesium sulphate drip for 24 hours for PET & worsening symptoms of neuroexcitability - I didn't get to see the twins or my little 3-year-old Stevie for a few days as I was so unwell. My mother-in-law is a midwife and jumped on the first flight she could from Melbourne. Hence, she was by my side the whole time. I remember looking at her and asking her what would happen to me and if I was going to die. I remember feeling guilty that I had a perfectly happy, healthy family and I potentially now had 3 children, and they wouldn't have a mother. She just said I was very unwell, but I would get better, and everything would be ok. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. My partner took control of Stevie, our daughter and her week stayed normal, as we didn't want her to know I was unwell. My partner Duncan has been incredible, and I love him so much. My anxiety was so intense, and I felt like I had no control over my body. The drip worked, and I felt much better afterwards. Thank god!

It took a few days to not feel dizzy and to stop shaking, but 3 days later, my blood pressure dropped, and medication could keep it down. I'm on the other side & have been discharged from the hospital but now staying in the neonatal dept with twins for a week until they can feed on their own. 

I can't wait to bring my babies home. Such a crazy 10 days, but now they are well, and I am feeling better. I'm so happy and relieved I have acute stress but easier managed by meditating. Last week I thought I would never be able to talk about this again, but it feels good writing it down now. I'm feeling very blessed my babies are healthy, and can't wait to bring them home and be with my partner and Stevie again. 💙